


The Difficult Second Album

by Fanfic_Annie



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotions, F/F, Feelings, Intimacy, LGBT, Love, Vanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 15:01:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15560343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfic_Annie/pseuds/Fanfic_Annie
Summary: Vanessa goes back to the pub to spend a second night with Charity





	The Difficult Second Album

**Author's Note:**

> When you'd give everything you have and everything you ever will have to fix someone you love who's broken but you know it wouldn't work.
> 
> (That's nothing to do with the story, I just needed to say it somewhere.)
> 
> This is just more stuff about them getting together. With a bit of bed action and a cheesy line or two.

It was ten to chucking out time, and Vanessa was sat at the bar, nursing a pint. She’d been there for half an hour so or and had barely made a dent in her drink. She wasn’t really there for the ale. 

Charity was playing it cool. She had acknowledged Vanessa, they had exchanged a few words, laughed a little, but she wasn't flirting. There was no seduction at play. She treated Vanessa as she would any other customer, no one special. 

She wanted Vanessa back in her bed, no question. That night was far too good to be a one-off. And she could easily make it happen: the right words in the right tone, a suggestive glance, a predatory flick of the eyes and Vanessa would melt in her hands.

She didn't just want her in her bed though. She liked her sitting at the bar, enjoyed being in her presence. Things seemed better when Vanessa was in eyeshot, let alone talking or touching distance. She felt warm, lit up, maybe whole, or at least less empty than when she wasn't there. Her wit was sharper, her jokes funnier. She wanted, no, craved her attention, to have those big blue eyes focused solely on her. To be the cause of her laughter, the object of her smile.

But something was holding her back from making a move. It didn't feel right, just to seduce her again. Some perversion in her was causing her to act in the opposite way from what she wanted - instead of giving into her urge to drag Vanessa through to the back room and take her roughly up against the wall she stayed in the bar, treating Vanessa as if nothing had ever happened and there was no sizzling chemistry waiting to engulf them again.

She could tell from the glances Vanessa fired in her direction, when she thought she wasn't looking, that she wanted it too. There was a hunger in her eyes, a desire that she couldn't mask, however much she tried. But there was something else too, a conflict, an internal struggle. She wanted her, but she didn't want to want her. 

And that's what held Charity back. She'd seen a similar look on so many faces - the lure of physical desire overriding the disgust for the person. She had accepted it often, knowing that power and manipulation lay in that gap and was hers to grab. And then she used it to her advantage. But she realised a some time ago that happiness never lay there. 

Something about this thing with Vanessa, whatever it was, was different. She wanted it to be different. She sensed a curiosity in Vanessa that she hadn't experienced before. Like underneath everything, beneath the lust and the sexual awakening and the thrill, there was interest, not judgement. As if she didn't want Charity despite who she was, but because of it.

That's why Charity wasn't making a move. She wanted Vanessa to decide that her desire was greater than her resistance. To work out her conflict. Vanessa had to come to her, to choose her. So she was waiting, letting Vanessa set the pace. Not pushing her away but not pulling her in either. Just watching and waiting to see when and how she would come back. 

Slowly the punters finished their drinks and drifted off, in pairs or alone. And still Vanessa stayed. Waiting. 

"It's closing time. You off too?" Charity came up behind Vanessa, her hands full of empty glasses.

Vanessa swung round on her stool to face Charity. "Nope," she replied.

"Oh." Charity walked behind the bar to pick up the keys. She followed the last customer as they exited the pub and locked the door behind them. She walked back into the pub, towards Vanessa and their eyes met. "So what now then?"

"You know what, Charity," said Vanessa in a low voice. 

"What? We have a wild night together then you slink away first thing and pretend it didn't happen and you don't know me?" Charity was so done with being used for her body, for being denied. She hadn't realised quite how much. And with Vanessa it seemed so much worse. As much as she wanted her, and she really wanted her, she would rather stop it now than feel that used again. Especially by Vanessa. 

"So you're looking for a relationship, are you?"

"No, Vanessa," she shot back. "I'm looking for..."

She stopped, unable to finish the sentence. What was she looking for? Why was she overcomplicating this, it was just sex, right?

It was sex, great sex, and yet somehow it wasn't just sex. Even if it was, the sex itself was different. They had an undeniable physical connection, it's rarely that good on a first time. Vanessa was a natural. She had needed virtually no guidance to take Charity places she had been very few times before - if ever. And her scent, the taste of her skin, the sound she made when Charity's lips found a secret sensitive spot....Charity could get lost in that forever.

"I'm not ashamed of you, Charity," Vanessa demonstrated, not for the first time, a razor-sharp insight into Charity's mind. Their connection wasn't just physical, no matter how hard they tried to convince themselves otherwise. And that's why Charity kept pushing for more. 

"What then?" She needed something, though she didn't know what. Something more than a hidden roll in the dark, to be more than Vanessa's dirty secret.

"I just, I don't know what this is. We don't know what this is. But I know I want it. You. And I don't want to shout anything from the rooftops until I do know. Until we both know."

"And if it's nothing?" Charity was moving closer to Vanessa now. Vanessa parted her knees to give Charity the space to move closer still.

"Charity, this isn't nothing," Vanessa's shallow breath was warm on her face and she felt her heart pounding in her chest from the proximity. They weren't touching, but every nerve ending in her body was quivering. 

And that's when she felt it. Like a gunshot into her belly. Twisting her guts, freezing her brain. The fear. A voice, deep inside her, telling her to run. Telling her she wasn't safe, she was headed towards pain. What if this thing she was feeling wasn't real, or even worse, wasn't reciprocated? What if Vanessa did just want her for her body? What if she opened up to her, let herself follow her feelings, to have them ridiculed, dismissed, pushed away? It wouldn't be the first time, and this time, with Vanessa, it felt like it would be too much to bear.

She flinched, and opened her mouth to shut it down. To stop this, whatever it is, that is too big, too much for her to hold on to.

Before she can do anything Vanessa closes the milimetres between them and locks her mouth onto Charity's. A jolt shoots down her spine and her tummy flips and she is lost to everything except the feel of Vanessa's lips on hers, the caress of her tongue. She barely registers Vanessa's hands at the sides of her head, pulling her deeper into the kiss. 

"Take me to bed," Vanessa whispers softly into her mouth and she is incapable of doing anything other than nodding acquiescence. This may be nothing, she thinks, but it's the most momentous nothing she's ever known.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They got each other off quickly the first time. Their need was too great, the passion too high to do anything other than fumble towards a clumsy climax in the fastest way possible. It was like a taster, an amuse bouche, Charity thought as she lay on her back, catching her breath and waiting for her heart to come back into rhythm. She wasn't done, by any means, but the initial itch had been scratched. And they had all night to do the rest. To touch, to taste, to explore, to fall....

She turned her head to look at the woman lying next to her and rolled over onto her side so that she could appraise her more fully. 

Vanessa’s hair was tousled, lying rough against the crisp, white bed sheets. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open, sucking in breaths to refill her lungs. Her shirt was open, her bra rising and falling as her chest heaved, trying to regain her composure after their exertion. Her skin glistened with a light sheen that made Charity’s mouth water. 

Her jeans were round her knees: in their rush to finish they hadn’t taken the time to fully remove their clothes. 

Charity thought she had never seen anything so beautiful in all her life. 

Vanessa opened her eyes, sensing Charity’s scrutiny. She shuffled her legs, getting rid of her jeans and kicking them to the end of the bed. 

Charity reluctantly drew her eyes away from Vanessa's body and dragged them up to her face. They smiled at each other. It was easy, between them. No need for words, they could just lie there, feeling warm and content in the afterglow. 

It hit her again. That feeling. She felt the cold tendrils creep round her heart, squeezing the life out of her, The voice, the black, black voice, telling her not to get too comfortable. She's lying. Don’t fall. It’s dangerous. You’ll get hurt. She hasn't got what it takes to meet you.

She rolled onto her back, closing her eyes. “That it then?”

It was Vanessa's turn to move then, shifting onto her side to face Charity with troubled eyes. She could sense Vanessa wavering, her confidence falter. “What? Do you want me to go?” she asked, incredulously. 

Every sinew in Charity screamed for her to stop, to get off this path, to keep her here at all cost, but she just shrugged her shoulders. “Got what you came for,” was all she said. 

“I didn’t come for this, Charity. I came for you.” Vanessa’s voice was like ice, slicing through Charity’s skin. Vanessa sat up and reached for her jeans. She pulled them on and got up from the bed. 

“Ness,” Charity knew she had gone too far. “Ness, come back.” 

Vanessa ignored her, reaching down to pick up her shoes then opening the door. Before she knew what she was doing Charity was off the bed and behind her, her arms either side of her, slamming the door closed and trapping Vanessa where she was. 

Vanessa dropped her head. “Let me go, Charity. Let me go.” She increased the volume when Charity didn't respond. She turned and pushed Charity gently, imploring her to move with her eyes. 

When she got no response she clenched her fists and punched Charity's shoulders, using the sides of her fists to keep the blows soft. “Charity,” she said again, beating harder now. Charity could feel her hurt at the cold dismissal in the punches being thrown at her. Again and again. Harder and harder, landing blow after blow against her breastbone, Vanessa's unspent lust turning to anger at the risk she had taken coming back, to have her vulnerability thrown back in her face. Charity could feel it all.

Charity’s body stayed still, like stone. She relished the pain of Vanessa's punches, comforted by familiar relief at the other woman’s anger and the pain she was inflicting. And yet still her body refused to betray her, to reveal the inner turmoil plaguing her mind. 

As Vanessa's punches got harder and more frantic, as her eyes turned icy blue with rage, Charity felt safe again. She could deal with this, she could do an angry fuck.

Finally she moved, grabbing Vanessa's wrists and forcing them back against the door, pressing her mouth down hard onto Vanessa’s, a needy, desparate kiss that stopped Vanessa in her tracks and took the force out of her arms. As she felt Vanessa respond and her arms wrap around her neck she bent down and grasped Vanessa behind the thighs, lifting her against the door. Vanessa wrapped her legs around Charity's waist and Charity turned, falling on top of Vanessa onto the mattress, nearly winding them both with the force. 

She started to undress Vanessa, lifting her body to slip her shirt down her arms, pulling it from under her and throwing it onto the floor. She reached around Vanessa's back to unhook her bra and slide it off her shoulders, disposing of it in the same way. Without meaning to, she was slowing the pace down. 

She moved her mouth to Vanessa's neck and kissed hot, wet kisses down her throat to her collarbone, nipping and sucking as she went. The taste of Vanessa, the heat of her skin and her sweet, sweet aroma worked its magic on Charity and the fight went out of her, leaving passion and tenderness and a desire to give pleasure so much stronger than the one to grasp it in a thoughtless frenzy.

By the time her mouth sank into the cleave between Vanessa's breasts Vanessa's cries and gasps had turned to moans and sighs and Charity's bites had become caresses, delicate and gentle against Vanessa's skin. She felt Vanessa's nails soften in her back and her fingers start to brush her, lovingly, moving up into her hair to massage her scalp and pull her closer.

Charity dragged her tongue down Vanessa's torso, past her belly button and lower still. She removed Vanessa's jeans swiftly, and pushed her thighs apart to lower her head between them. She sank her teeth into Vanessa's thigh, marking her. She wanted to leave a reminder of herself, somewhere Vanessa would feel it, remember her, for days.

The mood shifted again to hot and urgent. "Charity, please," Vanessa moaned. Charity responded, moving her head and finding Vanessa's sweet spot with her mouth. Lapping and sucking, keeping the pace slow to gradually build Vanessa towards her peak. 

She took her time bringing Vanessa to orgasm. It was only the second time they had been together but Charity didn't feel like she was getting to know someone new, more like she was reclaiming something she had always known. It felt like retracing her footsteps, finding the places, the strokes that made Vanessa shudder and cry out her name. 

As her fingers entered her she felt Vanessa stiffen, then relax into the rhythm. She increased the intensity then, lifting Vanessa higher and higher until with a cry she came, thrusting herself around Charity's fingers and into her mouth, her body pulsing as the waves overtook her.

Charity lifted her head to rest her forehead on Vanessa's tummy, taking a few deep breaths. She felt like she was praying, although she didn't really know what for. The fear kept calling her, biting at her ankles, but she pushed it away, focusing instead on the woman underneath her and what they had just done. And how, for the small moment Vanessa had lost her mind all around her, she had felt at peace.

This time she didn't want to let her go. She moved up the bed, rolled onto her back and pulled Vanessa on top of her, wrapping her arms loosely around her and resting her lips on Vanessa's temple. "Hot damn, Babe, we're good," she said.

Vanessa chuckled. "We're good, but we're not finished." She lifted her head and caught Charity in a deep, passionate kiss. "We're nowhere near finished yet."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something was pressing, poking at her face. She tried to brush it away and stay in the dream she was having, safe in a lost world. But it persisted. With a sigh she opened her eyes, to find Vanessa watching her intently, tapping at her cheek with her finger. 

"Hey," Vanessa said softly. "I just wanted you to know, I'm still here."

Charity smiled, despite herself and her rude awakening. "What time is it?"

"It's early. I have to go to work so I can't stay long but I thought you might like to make me a cup of tea before I have to get up."

Charity pulled Vanessa towards her to capture her in a long, deep kiss. She rolled on top of her. "Tea, huh? Is that really what you want?"

"Yes, Charity. Tea," she giggled, linking her arms around Charity's neck and pulling her close. "Well, maybe tea and crumpet."

"Crumpet, then tea."

"Sounds like the perfect morning."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if you did. Thanks.


End file.
